Grace in Small Things

It’s Monday morning at 8:30 a.m., and I’ve been baking cookies for hours now – beginning last night, and resuming my baking agenda at 7 this morning.

Know what I’m baking? Christmas cookies.

Sound random? It is.

Why am I doing it? Because my company is going to be doing a cookie photo shoot for a client.

What does this have to do with Grace in Small Things (GiST)? Everything.

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1.  Cookies = Normalcy

This weekend was one of my first weekends of normalcy since moving to Colorado. There were no boxes to be unpacked and no moving-related shopping trips or errands on our to-do list. We rested, we explored a small Colorado town, we took a scenic drive, and we crashed a small town Colorado Oktoberfest celebration.

It was fantastic.

And at the end of the weekend, Nick – donning his Army hoodie – and I stood around the island in our kitchen, baking cookies together. There were 1,001 moments of grace in my weekend, and the grand finale were those moments of grace and togetherness shared in the kitchen late last night.

It was while baking cookies that I realized I needed to make a promise to myself…

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2. No More Fear

There’ll come a time, you’ll see, with no more tears
And love will not break your hear, but release your fears
Get over your hill and see what you find there
With grace in your heart and flowers in your hair
-Song lyrics from Mumford & Sons’ “After the Storm”

Man, I like that song. Do you know it? It’s really nice. It makes my soul sigh relief.

I’ve been lost in fear and anxiety over the last few weeks. I could give you the laundry list of explanations, but at the end of the day, what matters is that I’ve not known myself.

That confident, adventurous Small Town Girl was proverbially curled up in a ball in the closet floor cuddling an old teddy bear while this shell of an anxious, scared, edgy, high-strung woman I barely recognized walked around using Small Town Girl’s name.

I’m thankful this week for someone who loves and supports me. I don’t know how to make the fears go away, but I’m going to start by removing “I’m afraid of…”, “I’m scared that…” and other equivalent phrases from my vocabulary this week. It can’t hurt, right?

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 3. No More Worry

Have you ever noticed that worry is contagious? Over the last few weeks of transition in my world, I’ve noticed that my stress and worry is wearing off onto people I care very much about.

I don’t know if you’re a religious person. If you’re not, please stick with me here. I have to remind myself of this Bible verse sometimes:

Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.
-Matthew 6:34

Who would have thought that it would be my fiance, who was not raised in a religious home, who would have inspired me – over Christmas cookies in October, and without realizing it – to do something I’ve been taught since I was a child to do — hand over my worry.

As with my vow to remove “I’m afraid of…” and like phrases from my language this week, I’m also making myself a promise to remove, “I’m worried that…” and “I’m worried about…” from my speak.

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I usually try to list 5 things in my GiST posts, but this week I’m perfectly content with 3. I’m not perfect, but I’m going to try to be graceful enough this week to focus on those small things that bring me joy instead of allowing the big things to overwhelm me, wring my mind with worry, and weigh me down with fear.

My running, I pound my frustrations into the pavement, have long talks with myself and wear myself out so much that there’s not enough energy left to use on worry.

Baking is my creative therapy – it allows me to create new things, turn little batches of ingredients into as single, scrumptious cookie or pastry or pie, and it keeps my mind busy for a few hours at a time.

I’ve been injured now for weeks, rendering me unable to run. My irritation at not being able to run only makes my non-running stresses feel bigger, so what do I do? Naturally, I bake things that are bad for me. That’s just how I roll.

Early week I baked a (moderately healthy) strawberry rhubarb pie, and before that, I had tried by hand at a blueberry pie.

Late the week I tried a new whole wheat dark chocolate chip cookie recipe. Can I say…Nom Nom Nom? Because really, truly…Nom Nom Nom.

Here are the ingredients:

3/4 cup granulated sugar
3/4 cup packed brown sugar
1 cup butter or margarine, softened
1 teaspoon vanilla
1 egg
2 cups Gold Medal whole wheat flour
1 teaspoon baking soda
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/2 package (6 ounces) semisweet chocolate chips (1 cup) (I prefer dark chocolate chips, and usually splurge on Ghiradelli brand chips, since they’re extra-plump and delicious)

Here are the directions:

Heat oven to 375 F.

Mix sugars, butter, vanilla and egg in large bowl. Stir in flour, baking soda and salt (dough will be stiff). Stir in
chocolate chips.

Cookie Mix

And then, you:

Drop dough by rounded tablespoonfuls about 2 inches apart onto ungreased cookie sheet.

Bake 8 to 10 minutes or until light brown (centers will be soft). Cool slightly; remove from cookie sheet. Cool on
wire rack.

Makes 2 to 3 dozen cookies depending on how big you like your cookies.

Number of Servings: 36

Cookies!

When I served these cookies to friends, they said they’d never have guessed they were made using all whole wheat flour unless I’d told them. The cookies are still soft two days later, and it’s pretty satisfying to know that they’re as healthy as a chocolate chip cookie is likely to be. Of course, now that I’ve eaten pie and cookies all week, I really wish I could run…

For the full recipe, go to SparkRecipes.com.

I present you with the most clever form of lettuce marketing in the state of Missouri – bribery in the form of cookies. I call this photo, “Free Cookie With Lettuce!”

Cranberry Walnut Thumbprints, photo by smalltowngirl

Let it be state for the record that I am NOT vegan, and that I love cookies. These cookies from Vegan Cookies Invade Your Cookie Jar blew every pre-conceived notion of what a vegan cookie should taste like out of the water.

For those of you who don’t already know this, vegans don’t eat any products derived from animals. There is no egg, no milk and no butter in these cookies, but you’d never known it.  These cookies were moist and rich and absolutely lovely. If you like jelly on warm toast, you’ll like this recipe. These cookies taste like fall feels.

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Also check out Vegan Cookies Invade Your Cookie Jar: Peanut Apple Pretzel Drops

photo by smalltowngirl

Christmas is four days away, and I’m curled up in my pajamas with several inches of show outside. My best friend and I are spending this snowy December day experimenting with vegan cookie recipes at her parent’s home in the Chicago suburbs.

"Vegan Cookies Invade Your Cookie Jar" Cookbook, photo by smalltowngirl

Our cookbook of choice today is “Vegan Cookies Invade Your Cookie Jar,” and the first recipe we’re trying is for Peanut Apple Pretzel Drops. Peanut Apple Pretzel Drops include, among other things, dehydrated apple slices, crushed pretzels, crushed peanuts, flaxseed, and cinnamon.

Apples and Pretzels, photo by smalltowngirl

Neither of us are accustomed to cooking in her mom’s oven, so our first batch turned out a little bit crispy on the bottom.

Oops.

Crispy, photo by smalltowngirl

We were able to salvage the top half of each cookie in the first batch, and the second batch turned out well.

Road trips to Chicago to see friends is one of the many things that I’m beginning to see as an advantage to life in the Midwest. Our day together involved Peanut Butter Oatmeal cookies and Cranberry Walnut Thumbprints, too. You’ll have to wait until tomorrow to hear about those though. Happy Holidays!